Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 56 views
On a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The 4 passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes, “If each of you will give me £1.00, I will show you my legs.” The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a quid out of their pocket.
And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, “If each of you gentlemen will give me £10.00, I’ll show you my thighs,” and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten pound notel. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.
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Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 176 views
Do you think is this real or somebody modified the Jalan to Jalan Puki Mak U Lah in the photo? Hahaha…I found this is really funny!!!
Driver: Nak ke mana cik?
Passenger: Saya nak ke bandar Sunway. Dekat jer, rumah saya kat Jalan Puki Mak U Lah…
Driver: Cik, kita ni orang Melayu. Tak boleh ke gunakan bahasa yang lebih sopan.
Passenger: Nak sopan macam mana lagi bang. Dah memang itu nama jalannya.
Driver: %$#@&*
See the photo…
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Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 201 views
Do you know what it’s like to lose your mobile phone? I bet you would feel similar to the way that you unexpected. So, don’t lose your phone.
MAN: “Hello?”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It’s only 500. Is it okay if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “Oh, thanks so very much. I also stopped by the Mercedes garage
this morning and saw the new models. There was one I really, really
liked.”
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Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 234 views
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, Nascar 2.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Posted by limpek |
2 Comments » | 302 views
