When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.

So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring.

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Posted by limpek | 3 Comments » | 443 views

David went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who’s the girl, and he told him that it was Jolin Tsai a girl from the neighbourhood.

With a sad face his father said to his son, “I’m sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don’t tell your mother.”

Then…

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Posted by limpek | 9 Comments » | 813 views

Mr. Bean While In Grade School

Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean : 9

Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean : Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the
answer is 6 !

At An ATM Machine

Friend : What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend : Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

Mr. Bean Sees A Doctor

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?

Doctor : Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 1,626 views

One day, Siew Pau and Maggi Mee had a big fight.
Maggi Mee beat Siew Pau up until it had bruises on Siew Pau’s body.

Siew Pau loose in the fight and went back to tell all the Pau’s family; Kaya Pau, Tau Sa Pau, Curry Pau, and etc. So all Paus went to find Maggi Mee for revenge.

On the way, they met Spaghetti? So all Pau ran to Spaghetti and beat the hell up on Spaghetti and Spaghetti can’t say a word, Spaghetti then scream…

“What did i do? I don’t even know you all”.

Then the Siew Pau say…

“HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don’t think I can’t recognize you after you do REBONDING!

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 459 views

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it’s really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that Truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite and won’t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?

Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Posted by limpek | 2 Comments » | 410 views